Looking at what i have been doing recently i have realized that i have been doing nothing about my current problem, what am i doing with my life? I know that might sound rather drastic considering i am only 20, but is 20 young?does it mean i can never miss a party, always be with my friends, or does 20 mean that i am no longer a teenager, and that it is time to grow up. I was thinking the other day about how i have fucked up in two different universities, i wonder if its just not for me, or maybe i am just lazy and don't want to commit to anything. Looking at how i wasted this year and am now in some debt, it made me think, i am going to be a fuck up, and just wast everything that is thrown my way, fuck up anything that comes near me, i need a goal, something that i really want to do and follow through, its just hard to find it!
I am taking a while out, get a job, think about what i am going to do with my time, but i was talking to my boss in work the other day, and she was saying how me having this time to think is like an adventure, i can pick what ever i want to pick and work at it, i can save up money, travel, do things that i want to do before it may be too late, before i am committed to a job, a house, a wife, a morgage. I don't know if i am on the only person my age who is worrying about what they are going to do with their life, or if i should be worrying, but i am so fucking scared about where i am going, but at the same time excited!

being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up, these are the best days of our life's!